“You’re a ghost possessing my best friend,” she says very matter-of-factually.“Yeah, I could see it. You look different, and not in a fucked the weekend away with my tall hot girlfriend way.”

We’ve got a full length mirror around here somewhere. We’re still going to the gym and we’re still getting off first, but you’re gonna show me how sexy you think I am.

“I have a whole name!” I exclaim with a whoop, arms above my head and feet kicked up, before letting us collapse back onto the couch with a goofy smile. “I have a name. A full one. Peyton Janelle Davidson. That’s me.”

It’s all fun and games until you’re being ordered to eat out your girlfriend before the food gets cold. And who would we be to not oblige?

“Peej, you’re a fucking tease. You don’t have to sexualize a back squat so much. And leg day was two days ago. Today is arms."

Yet another reason I should have lifted in life. I don’t think being fucked against a wall was exactly a fantasy of mine then but it is now.

"Peej, what are you doing?" "Trying something a little different. Now brush our fucking teeth before I make a mess please."

“I thought you two were going to talk, not paint the floor. We are so lucky this is hardwood.”

“You are my boyfriend who, while very understanding, is incredibly straight and cis. But you’re also a ghost, possessing his body. And a lesbian. Who’s now stuck with his body.”